Has anyone felt that sheer guilt from within?
something inside you wants to curse you,
break you, punch you and pull you down the stairs
into the infinite void till you cannot match your own sight

I have. And I have known this for long.

But still I did nothing.
Or rather, we did nothing.

Four long years back, I left home to pursue my dreams.
I was always taught to dream big and,
fortunately or unfortunately,
I dreamt bigger that my cosy little home city could provide.

There was this unsaid understanding that
one day I will leave home,
but never really understood that
I will never really be at home after that day.

Family gatherings started to become a rarity,
Home-food a luxury and festival days just holidays.

But more importantly, I was never there
I was never there for them, when they needed the most.

When they wanted to learn a new app,
When they were facing issues with their mobiles,
When they wanted to be in sync with the modern world
or when they just wanted a kid in the house.

They were always there, always.
They still are, and here I am,
trying to open my wings and fly away
when all they want is to fly with me.

Is it really worth it?
The success. The knowledge
The degrees. The work.

Is it really worth it?