#5 - Breathing Again.
It has been just 19 days in 2018 and I have realised how different, surprising and unplanned this year is going to be. I left my first job to explore new things and it has been 19 days since and I have not improved my skillset even by a tiny notch. I say I took a break to get to know me more, but in reality I have not done any experiments to say that. Freelancing is not working, or rather I have not put in enough efforts to make it work. I am hardly reading any books. I started gym for a week and then have not worked out since the last five days. I got into a bit of a mix in the personal space.On the whole, I am just letting life slip by during one of the most amazing period of my life, a period which most only dreams of. But, I am just wasting it.
Deciding what to do?
Ever since I have left college, one thing I have learnt is the life outside the education bubble is very different because you yourself have to set goals, quantify it and then work to achieve it. Schools and colleges have exams, and marks or grades are the usual quantifiers. So it becomes easy. Out here, you are your own teacher and the student too. You have to set yourself a question paper, based on the syllabus you deem fit for you, then appear for it yourself, and finally evaluate too. Isn’t that scary? Yes it is, and it is the reason why most of us try to set a question paper that people have already appeared for. Doing something out-of-box, is scary, because you set out on uncharted waters.
I took this break from my stint with SocialCops because of this very reason. I wanted to see whether I am made for this exploration of new paths, or should I quietly follow the normal trend. And to be honest, up till now I have failed myself.
Whats stopping me?
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One, home Finally being at home with the intension of staying here, at least for the next three-four months have been comforting and serene. Spending time with my parents and family is very special. However, I am yet to settle down, find a schedule because for the past five years home has always been a holiday for me. And this comfort has brought an inertia which I need to let go off, and that too very fast. It again has to be a place where I learn and grow.
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Two, my headspace. I am a bit too emotional and things that don’t go according to me affect me a lot. It affects everything around me and that is something I need to learn - keeping my personal & professional life separate. This will take time, I am sure. But hopefully, as the great Murakami puts it - “ When you come out of this storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm is about”. I don’t want to be the same person again!
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Three, growth is not always about mastering something for your career. I had planned earlier that I would do certain things so that I can learn a bit more of R, and Python. However, slowly I am realising that maybe I should also focus on things which I would never again get time for. Abstract things, like learning to box or cooking, which will never help me make my career in data, but still it would be fun to learn right?
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Four, setting out goals and quantifying it. I have always been bad at this. But when you set out on your own, this becomes very crucial because goals will become your sacrosanct compass that will guide you the way in the dark.
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Five, Writing! I have always maintained this position where I say - I write because it forces me to try new things. Well, Achyut, then you need writing more than ever now. So weekly journals will be back. And I am heading to Thailand for a solo in Feb, so expect more of the travel blogs too.
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Six,Execute! One of my juniors in college told me - “Achyut, you preach a lot, but you fail in executing things”. And I accept it. And this is the most important of all - execute what you decide.
So what next?
Getting my ass back to work, starting to step out of my comfort zone again and enjoying!
PS. I am actively looking for any freelancing projects in the fields of - Data Science, Designing, Writing, or any shit (I have enough free time and thus will learn something new). So everyone who is reading this, help me get them :D